The male submissive. Does that sentence conjure up images of wimpy men brow beaten by a shameless shrew of a wife? Media images of the submissive man have shown the man to be much smaller in stature, super thin weak and almost effeminate compared to his large bossy and brash wife. But is this true?
In my experience, the male submissive is complex. Often he is very successful and could be considered Alpha in many respects. If traditionally the male is told he is the leader, to be dominant, why would a man go against convention and submit to a woman? This goes against biblical writings and preaching and shatters the foundation of traditional family. Why would a man want to do this?
The answer is as complex as the man himself and cannot be answered in a single blog post.
I will tell you of MY experiences as a FemDom, as Mistress J, erotic photographer. I think it comes down to yearning. For whatever reasons, when we reach adulthood and start experiencing sex there are deeply ingrained desires we often ignore or don’t understand. Some have the need to serve or to be controlled or bullied. Some are either born naturally submissive or an event triggered this desire. The reasons are as varied as there are people on this earth.
As Mistress J, my clients come to me in search of a release. I call myself a “Keeper of Secrets.” My clients have shared with me sides to themselves their wives, friends, coworkers do not know, and they trust me. They come with a pent up desire to communicate something to someone who will understand. Perhaps to even feel desirable, if only for an hour.
Based on the D/s dynamic the photographer controls the scene and works within the subjects limits, pushing extracting, pulling. Negotiations always take place before the scene, I give aftercare, and touch base a day after to check in. This is all done under my loving female authority.
For me, as the photographer, I do get a feeling of power having my male subject reveal himself before me. I enjoy pushing him. It is a difficult thing to literally and figuratively undress before a camera. I enjoy watching the layers unfold. I often get a sexual charge, and combined with my feeling of power and control I feel my FemDom emerge.
As an artist, photography has been my way of expressing myself. I have allowed my camera to speak for me for over 15 years giving voice to my beliefs. I have been an activist, philanthropist, anthropologist and journalist all behind my lens. I have felt that taking a portrait has always been more than just capturing what someone looks like. As Mistress J came into being, it was a natural progression for me to seek out the submissive male and dominate him with my camera.
Intrigued? Call me.